LOSING A FRIEND

ALL CAPS AKO NGAYON! ALL CAPS KASI GIGIL AKO SA TOPIC KO NGAYON, KUNG SA PERSONAL KO TO SASABIHIN BAKA PASIGAW KO TONG SINASABI. HAHAHAHA. =))

YUNG FEELING NA NANGYAYARI NA PERO AYAW MU PADIN PANIWALAAN. MINSAN IKAW NA YUNG GUMAGAWA NG EXCUSES PARA SAKANILA. BUT YOU'LL STILL FEEL THE CHANGE, AND BECAUSE YOU CAN'T RATIONALIZE IT, YOU'LL TRY TO IGNORE IT.

YUNG LAGI KAYO MAGKAKASAMA DATI, SABAY KUMAEN, GAGALA KUNG SAAN SAAN. DATI KAHIT 24-HOUR PA KAYO MAGKASAMA DI KAYO NAGSASAWA, HINDI NAHIHINTO YUNG KWNETUHAN NGAYON. PERO NGAYON ANG15 MINUTES SA INYO PAG MAGKSAMA KAYO PARANG BUONG ARAW NA SAYO. LESS TALK. MINSAN PARANG PURO TULALA LANG ANG GINAGAWA NIYO. MINSAN PAG NAGSCROLL KA NG CONTACTS SA PHONE MU HIHINTO KA SA NAME NIYA TAPOS YOU TRY TO TEXT OR CALL THEM PERO BIGLA MU NALANG IBABACK KASI NAGDODOUBT KA KUNG REREPLAYAN KABA OR SASAGUTIN YUNG TAWAG MU.

SOMETIMES, THERE'S NO HUGE FIGHT THAT MARKS THE END OF A FRIENDSHIP. NO FALLING OUT, NO MAJOR DISAGREEMENTS. SOMETIMES IT JUST FALLS APART FOR NO GOOD REASON. DISTANCE. NEW RELATIONSHIPS. PRIORITIES. AS WE GET OLDER, WE TEND TO DOWNSIZE, PRIORITIES. TRIM TO THE CORNER OF OUR LIVES, KEEPING WHAT'S IMPORTANT AND DISCARDING WHAT ISN'T. SOMETIMES, WE STOP NEEDING PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES.

SABE KO NGA SA STATUS KO: LOSING A CLOSE FRIEND IS WORSE THAN LOSING A LOVER. TAMA NAMAN DIBA? ANG LOVERS MARAMI, KAHIT SAAN PEDE KA KUMUHA DYAN PERO DI YAN KAIBIGAN NA MADALING PALITAN KASI IT TAKES TIME PARA MASABI MUNG CLOSE/BEST FRIEND NA KAYO NG ISANG TAO. DI TULAD NG LOVERS NA IN ONE MONTH OR ONE WEEK MASASABI MUNG "AY GUSTO KONG TAONG TO" "MAHAL KO NA SYA". DIBA? FRIENDSHIP IS A SPECIAL LOVE THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO FADE. DI MU INEEXPEXT NA YUNG TAONG LAGI MUNG KASAMA, LAGI MUNG KARAMAY, LAGI MUNG KASAMA SA KALOKOHAN MAWAWALA NALANG NG BIGLA BIGLA AT WALANG PAALAM YOU FEELING LIKE CHEATED, INIISIP MU "ANO BA AKO SAKANILA. IMPORTANTE BA AKO SA KANILA O AKO LANG NAGBIGAY NG IMPORTANSYA SA KANILA?"

AND THE WORST PART OF IT, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!!! YOU KNOW IF YOU BRING THIS UP WITH THEM THEY'LL GIVE YOU A BLANK EXPRESSION AND BLANK EXCUSE. YOU DON'T WANT TO EXPLAIN HOW YOU FEEL. YOU CAN'T. YOU JUST WANT THEM TO GET IT, TO READ YOU LIKE THEY USED TO BE ABLE TO. YOU WANT TO TAKE THEM BY THE SHOULDERS AND SHAKE THEM, SCREAMING "WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT HAPPENED?!!" UNTIL YOU'RE BLUE IN THE FACE. BUT YOU CAN'T DO THAT EITHER, BECAUSE YOU'RE NO LONGER ON THE SAME LEVEL AND IT'S GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL CRAZY. :( :|

IN LIFE, IT'S GIVEN THAT YOU WILL LOSE PEOPLE. PEOPLE WILL FLOW IN AND OUT LIKE CURTAINS THROUGH OPEN WINDOW, SOMETIMES FOR NO REASON AT ALL. BUT LOSING SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU WILL FEEL LIKE A SUCKER PUNCH EVERY SINGLE TIME, AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE IT COMING. :(

WHICH MAKES THE FRIENDSHIPS THAT DO HOLD OUT, THE ONES THAT MAKE IT THROUGH COUNTLESS BREAKDOWNS AND BREAKTHROUGHS AND CHANGES AND YEARS SO DAMN IMPORTANT?